First Lover
by BlackDove of Blessings
Summary: SakunoXRyoma, Just a few short chapters, please read and enjoy. I wrote this like 3 years ago, and I thought it would be a good time filler for all of my readers to enjoy as I update my other stories.
1. Chapter 1

First lover

Chapter one:

Sakuno felt the bed shift as Ryoma moved from her. She stared ahead then at the wall then the floor and the pile of clothes lying there. Lastly she glanced at Ryoma; he was doing the same thing. 'Had they really just done what they did?' ran wildly in their minds. They couldn't believe it, though the substantial evidence lay all around them. Hastily thrown cloths lie in small piles across the bedroom's floor and out into the hall. A thorn plastic packet lay open near the trash can, not making it in due to the owners unfocused shot. Rumpled blankets and sheets lay at the end of the bed, the tails just covering their bodies as they shifted with the dawning knowledge that they really did just have sex. Their first time together and Sakuno's first ever. She couldn't believe herself. She'd not meant for this to happen and now that it was over, she was getting a queasy feeling in her stomach, forming a hot sensation that was slowly moving up from her belly to her throat cutting off her air supply and into the back of her eyes causing a great amount of pressure there. Sakuno brought her hand up to cover herself more before bringing it to her face to cover her eyes. The pressure was building and she was afraid it meant she was going to cry, or puke or maybe even both. Another shift brought Sakuno's attention back to the other occupant of the bed, not that it hadn't been blaringly obvious already. Breathing in a huge gulp of air Sakuno tried to contain the hot liquid coming to the corners of her eyes, and not succeeding at all.

These actions caused Ryoma's focus to turn to Sakuno, before looking away in panic as he saw the tears coursing from behind her hand, down her cheeks and onto the neck he'd so recently been nibbling on. Red hickey's already forming from the many 'love' bits he'd given her during intercourse. Sitting up, making sure the blanket stayed well up on his hips, Ryoma brought his knees upwards towards his chest before leaning on elbow onto his left knee and trying to look in every direction but down and to his right. Yet his eyes continued to torment him by continuously turning in her direction. He didn't know what to do, and his brain continued to malfunction as more tears slipped past the barrier of Sakuno's shaking palm. What could he say, he was sorry, that would only make things worse, and telling her that he hadn't meant for things to progress they way they had, was also out of the question. His usual response to unknown territory would be to rely on his cocky behavior and act as though he was in total control; but he couldn't bring himself to do that. The great cool confident prince attitude he carried on himself had completely abandoned him.

The bed shook now as the silent sobs of the young eighteen year old girl next to him grew increasingly stronger. Ryoma opened his mouth to say something but only a choked noise produced from his throat. This seemed to have caught her attention as she stiffened as much as possible and tried to wipe away tears that refused to be pushed behind a dam. She too sat up and tried to fix herself, fiddling with the blankets as her grip on the sheet bunched and unclenched as she looked at her lap her loosened hair blocking her face from his view. She curled into herself as she moved an inch away from him, cutting into him with her silent rejection of what had just transpired between them.

"What do you want me to do?" Ryoma's whisper coming out as a plea as he tried to choke the feelings back down. He didn't understand why he could not control his emotions. He'd never had problems before, yet now that he needed the words that would make this all better, to make it go away, he couldn't think of anything to say. Sakuno's head came up a little at his words, staying silent until she could choke the tightness in her throat back down. The quivers in her stomach increasing as time passed.

"What is there to do? It's over and done, it can't be taken back, it can't be undone." Sakuno moved quicker than she'd thought she could as she grabbed one of the blankets from the end of the bed wrapping it around her body as she stood to walk away. But her legs where shaking too much, and felt weak and sore after what had happened. Her knees giving way, she crumbled to the floor and into a kneeling position. Great heaves erupted from her, as she grabbed the nearby trash can, retching as she saw the opened condom packet, only glad that it hadn't been forgotten in their rush of idiocy. Her face planting on the rim of the basket and her hair cascading around her, totally obscuring the view of the trash can, and what it now held. Now the tears came even harder, as she couldn't hold the sobs in. Crying harder than she could ever remember crying before, Sakuno asked in a desperate question, which was rolling around in her head, to know one in particular. It could've been to God, or Ryoma, or even just so she could hear it herself. "Why? Why did we do it? I knew better, I had plans and I let them down, and myself. Why did it happen?" Then the sobs took over her again.

She was crying so hard now, that she couldn't even respond as strong lean arms came around her, bringing her face away for the foul smelling trash bin, and into a naked, smooth chest and a scent she was dismayed to realize was a mixture of their coming to together, and which was all over them both. Gripping onto what she could, she cried until she couldn't anymore. Worsening, as she went into silent retreat.

"I don't know." Ryoma said as he began rocking them, to comfort them both and not just her. "I didn't mean for this to happen, I wasn't planning it, it just happened. I really wasn't planning on this." He kept repeating it inside his head, as guilt began to spread. He'd started this, as unintentional as it was, he had started it. He'd asked her to come over, he'd asked her to have dinner here, he'd opened the bottle of sake, and he'd instigated the kiss, and that led to them coming in here to the bedroom and the foreplay that followed. They'd gotten too caught up in themselves, and the drinking had only increased the problem. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to apologize? To act like this didn't happen? What, what do you want me to do, because I don't know how to fix this." This pleading brought Sakuno out of her withdrawal as she looked up at Ryoma, the pain in his eyes soothing her somehow, as she turned farther into his chest and hugging him to her.

"I don't know. I was waiting, and now I can't take it back. I can't give it to someone else. To my husband, or my fiancé, not even my boyfriend. I gave it to you, a friend. What can we do? Nothing, we can't do anything." Sakuno said, despair echoing in her voice, but also reluctant acceptance that she was no longer a virgin, and that she wouldn't be pure on her wedding day, that her dream gown would be soiled, and her gift gone. She felt sick, not because it was Ryoma, but because she wasn't married, and she promised herself she wouldn't be with anyone but the man she planned to marry. She didn't even have the consolidation that she was his girlfriend, she was just his friend. They'd grown up together since middle school, her first crush, her best guy friend, and now her first lover.

They stayed that way for the rest of the night, not talking, just trying to comfort the other, as they came slowly to grips with their newly defined friendship. When the sun rose, Sakuno got up from the floor and went to the shower and cleaned up. She needed to feel clean. After coming out with some borrowed clothes of Rinko's, Ryoma's mother, on she walked towards the waiting cab, with Ryoma. Not saying anything they separated to spend the rest of their free day thinking on what happened, before going back to school on Monday.

….


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two:

Ryoma was slow getting dressed the next morning for tennis practice, completely unaware of his senpais talking and dressing around him. They didn't seem to realize anything was wrong with him, as he was usually quiet during the morning. But when the actually tennis practice started and he seemed dazed, unfocused, and disoriented with his shots during his practice games, they knew something was wrong with their underclassman. After running yet another set of ten laps for making a rooky mistake, they came to the conclusion that Ryoma needed to spill what was wrong. Even Tezuka was getting anxious over the desperate and saddened look in Ryoma's eyes. When practice was over they decided to meet up after evening tennis practice and get Ryoma to talk to them. Ryoma gave his acceptance, without even his usual vehemence to decline.

The day dragged on and on for everyone, especially for Sakuno, who hadn't shown up for school that morning, calling in sick for the day.

When Horio callously announced this during after school practice, Ryoma's attention seemed to decrease even more. Finally practice ended, and the regulars went to change, they watched their underclassman sloth threw putting his cloths on, holding back and letting the college tennis club room empty, even the trio had left, leaving only them.

Ryoma was slouched on the bench his hidden gaze staring ahead and towards the floor. The rest of the group found positions close to him, so as to make an encouraging aura in the room. When Ryoma continued to not make eye contact, Momo sat next to him, placing his hand on the younger man's shoulder and asked. "Ryoma what's wrong? You're not acting yourself?" Ryoma's answer was to give a defeated sigh and place his head into his palms as he pressed the heel of each hand into the soft part of his eyes.

"I did something bad." He said, his voice distorted either due to his hands, or because his emotions were once again rising.

"What do you mean, Echizen?" Oishi asked, as he too came closer to the man.

"I slept with Sakuno," he said, "and I shouldn't have, I knew better." This time he ran his hands threw his hair, anguish and barely contained pain wrote all over his face. At first the others didn't understand the whole meaning of this until they remembered a conversation they'd over heard between Tomo and Sakuno one night.

"_What, you're still a virgin?" Tomo practically screeched. Sakuno's shy nod was her answer. "But I thought you'd certainly given that up, I mean you've been dating for quite a while now?" Tomo asked_

"_I don't plan on having sex until I'm married or engaged with someone I love. My family comes from a strong background of not sleeping with someone until marriage, and I've personally pledged not to either." When she saw the objective look on Tomo's face Sakuno continued. "I've no problem with others having premarital sex, but I don't think my conscience would let me get away with it, I'd feel really guilty if I did." Here Sakuno smiled. "I don't think its right for me to have sex until marriage, and that's what I plan on doing, if I didn't I wouldn't be me after all." Sakuno smiled as she and Tomo continued down the street not knowing that the regulars had heard everything._

"So you guys had sex?" Momo asked, and as Ryoma's tortured gaze met his, he felt really bad for Ryoma, and especially for Sakuno. Then Ryoma spoke again before any of the others could say anything more.

"Momo you should have seen her afterwards. She was so upset she made herself sick, and she didn't come to school because she was ill. I don't know how to fix this," getting up to pace behind the bench, in the small aisle between it and the lockers. "I didn't plan it, it just happened before we could stop yourselves. It's entirely my fault!" Ryoma turned to bang his fist into the lockers frame, causing reverberations throughout the locker room. The regulars stayed silent. Each pondering what they could say to help the young man.

"Did you at least use a condom?" Was the very serious tone of their long time Captain. Tezuka was usually the tactical and straight thinking when things like this occurred. The others looked at Ryoma for his answer. His nod had them releasing sighs of relief. Tezuka nodded, "How was she feeling afterwards," at Ryoma's look Tezuka continued to specify his statement. "Was she sore, hurt, we know she was emotionally upset but was she physically hurt?" they were all embarrassed at this line of questioning, but they knew they had merit, and that Tezuka was only worried about Sakuno's well being and not the groups comfort zone.

Ryoma didn't reply, as he thought back to what had happened. "She was sore, and she couldn't support herself at first when she tried to walk, but after a while she was walking fine, and she took a shower. Besides a slight wince, she seemed fine when she left." His face was red when his finished. He really didn't want to talk about this, what he wanted was for someone to tell him how to make her feel better, and to relieve this guilt on his shoulders. "What do I do now? She'll never want to see me again."

"Do you love her?" Fuji asked leaning forward hands intertwined together, as his eyes opened showing his seriousness.

"I love her, but I don't know if I'm in love with her, and that makes this situation even worse." Ryoma said, once again pacing.

"What's the difference?" Momo asked.

"You can love someone without being in love." Fuji said, "You love your siblings, and your family, but it's a different kind of love than what you feel for Ann isn't it?" Momo thought about it before nodding that he understood.

"Ryoma, why'd you let it get to far in the first place, what happened?" Eiji asked.

"My parents were gone for the weekend, and I was bored. I didn't really feel like going anywhere, so I did what I usually do and called Sakuno over to hang out. It was normal, she would come over, and we'd watch T.V. I'd give her a tennis lesson, she'd make something to eat, and then I'd walk her home."

"So what was different about this time?" Inui asked his notebook put away for once.

"Well my father and mother left me a bottle of sake as a present for getting through my first semester of college. We shared it, and we talked, and then… well things moved along pretty quickly from there, and then it was done and we didn't know what to do." Ryoma sat now. "I panicked, and I asked her what she wanted me to do? I'd do anything she asked of me. To make this better, she's my best friend, and I don't want to lose that."

"You could always go visit her today?" Taka said, he'd rejoined the team after his father's business grew into a national success. His uncle had decided to move back and with his dad they'd become successful enough that Taka found that he needed to go back to school for a business license before becoming the greatest sushi chief ever.

Ryoma shook his head. "I don't think she would let me see her."

"You can at least give it a try." Eiji insisted.

"And if I fail?"

"You give it some time, and try again, and while you wait, give some thoughts on why this happened, and what could be the cause behind it. Examine your emotions and don't let your guard down," Tezuka said, commanding with his tone and face that Ryoma agree. Ryoma nodded and leaned down to get his bag. The others watched him leave, knowing he was going to see Sakuno.

"Poor ochibi and Sakuno." Eiji said on a sigh. They silently agreed.

"Well they'll need our support and understanding, because I don't think Ryusaki sensei is going to be very happy." Momo said, they group shuddered at the thought of what the old lady could still do to Ryoma. Soon after, they left for home, thoughts with their underclassmen.

…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Sakuno curled herself tighter into the blanket she was in. She'd been lying there since Sunday, not wanting to eat, but doing so when her grandmother brought her stuff up. She'd thrown up several more times, because she kept making herself sick with what she'd done. Her grandmother knew the signs of one of Sakuno's panic attacks, she would over worry until she made herself ill but when she threw up once or twice she'd calm down. Yet this time Sakuno wasn't calming down she was getting worse and she wouldn't tell her what it was, making her just that more worried. A doorbell brought Sumire, Sakuno's grandmother, out of her worried state as she went to see who it was.

When she opened the door, Ryoma was standing there, a worried look on his face. "What do you need Ryoma?"

"I came to see Sakuno, is it all right if I see her?" Sumire nodded, she could see that Ryoma was upset, and that he really wanted to see Sakuno. She hoped that whatever it was that was bothering Sakuno, Ryoma could make it better. Ryoma nodded in thanks, walking behind her and taking his shoes off before heading towards Sakuno's room. It was quiet in the hallway, Sakuno's usual amount of music silent. He knocked on the door, and opened it when he heard the low murmur of 'come in.' When he caught sight of Sakuno, Ryoma's guilt increased. She was pale and drawn, looking like she hadn't slept in two nights. She didn't seem aware that it was him, until he entered the room and shut the door. When the door's lock sounded she glanced away for the wall she was looking at and to Ryoma. Panic shown on her face when she saw him, sitting up and pulling her blankets more firmly around herself. Ryoma walked closer to her sitting down on the every edge at the end of her bed, the furthest away from where she leaned against the headboard and wall.

"Why are you here Ryoma?" She asked, she throat dry from all the puke.

"I came to see how you are, I was told you called in sick today." Sakuno nodded. "How are you feeling, I mean are you still in pain?" Sakuno blushed, but she answered anyway.

"I am still a little sore, but that's to be expected for your first time."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I'm still sick, but I think I'm finally coming to grips with it. I mean it could have been a lot worse." Ryoma winced and Sakuno's immediate response was to make him feel better. "Ryoma it's not your fault, it's mine I could have stopped you but I didn't. I wanted it, I just should have been more aware of what I was doing." Sakuno leaned forward and placed her hand on his. She was surprised, as was Ryoma, that she actually made the move to touch him. But she didn't pull away; she felt that she needed him, and that it was right he be here with her. They were silent just letting their hands touch.

When Ryoma turned his hand over to intertwine their fingers and to bring himself closer, he confessed. "I wasn't sure you'd even want to see me right now." Here he brought his head up to look straight into her eyes. "I just want to make this better for you, I don't know what I can do but I feel I needed to be with you."

"I felt that too." She whispered, "I guess we need the closure. Ryoma…" Sakuno didn't finish she didn't know what to say. After several minutes, she pulled on their hands, wanting to bring Ryoma closer to her. He gave a questioning look, but didn't pull away, as she brought him to her in a hug. "Ryoma can you hold me for a bit?" Ryoma nodded and shifted to where he was the one leaning against the headboard, Sakuno held in his arms, and he felt right. It felt right, like this was how it should have been that night, instead of how it was. _**Examine your feelings…**_ _**Sakuno needs comfort, and a confidence that only you can give her. You need to support her.**_ The words Tezuka had said came to mind. 'Examine my feelings. How do I feel towards her?' _**I love her as a friend, but I don't know if I'm in lover with her?... **_ _**She's my best friend, and I don't want to lose that…. So what was different about this time?... You love your siblings, and your family, but it's a different kind of love. …I love her as a friend, but I don't know if I'm in lover with her? **_ _**She's my best friend, and I don't want to lose that. I love her as a friend, but I don't know if I'm in lover with her…. I love her…. I love her.**_ 'I love her, I'm in love her. I love Sakuno!'

The thought shook Ryoma to his foundation. Why hadn't it been obvious, how had he not realized that he loved her. She was the most important person to him, she was always there when he needed her, she supported him, made sure he was okay, checked up on him, he could talk to her for hours, or not say anything at all and she never seemed to mind. She knew more about him than anyone but his family. He called her when he was lonely or bored, he went to her for advice, and he was sure she did the same. He knew more about her than he did about anyone, he always tried to support her, and he cared when she was sick or not around, he got mad when she dated other guys and comforted her when she had a bad break up. And he'd been totally thrilled when he'd found out she hadn't had sex with anyone. Well she'd never had sex with anyone but him, _him_. "_**I don't plan on having sex until I'm… with someone I love.**_"

'Could she love me and not realize it? We're not engaged, but does she love me enough that she let her guard down. Could that be why she let it continue?'Ryoma's brain whirled as thoughts formed and shifted. The guilt subsided, as hope flared, but should he tell her? Ryoma looked down at Sakuno, her eyes closed as she continued to hold on to him. He tightened his grip and let all his inhibitions go, he let himself feel letting his emotions take action. He leaned down, shifting and bringing her away from him so that their eyes met. She looked curiously up at him, wondering what the look in his eyes meant.

"Sakuno, do you love me?" He asked Sakuno's face brightened to a dark shade of red. "Do you?"

"Of course I do, you're my friend. How could I not care for you?" Ryoma shook his head.

"No I mean are you_ in_ love with me?" Silence came as Sakuno's eyes shifted, her face darkening even more, she seemed to be trying to get her thoughts in order, yet she still didn't answer. "Sakuno, do you!" He asked more forcefully.

"Y-Yes, I do." She said quickly to his action. She didn't look at him, she looked towards the wall. Ryoma's heart beat, as he brought his hands up from around her to cup her face and make her look towards him. She was crying again, and he used his thumbs to catch and wipe them away each one as they started to fall. Then he leaned forward and kissed her, a kiss not as unsimilar as the one that had gotten them into this mess. She tried to pull away, but he kept her still with his hands, bringing her closer to where she was practically laying on him. She hands supporting her on his chest, she tried a few more feeble times to push away, but soon they stopped. Her mouth opened to his administrations, and she moved even closer, bringing her hands up to hold his shoulders as well as support her.

When air became a problem, Ryoma brought his head up to look at her. The tears she'd been crying were still flowing, but a worried look now filled her eyes instead of the sadness as before. He moved his hand to caress her face, his other one sliding down her arm to her back, where he stilled it; his eyes never leaving hers so as not to scare her.

"Sakuno, I love you. I wish I'd said it before, but I didn't know myself. I never meant to hurt you, it's the last thing I ever want to do, but I love you, I want you. The other night, we got ahead of ourselves and that was a mistake on my part. I should have taken it slow and done it right. I've loved you for a long time, but I hid that away because I didn't think you felt the same. I thought you just wanted to be friends, and that's what I wanted too. But I want more than that, I don't want to lose you to anyone else, ever. I want to have you to myself and have that stay that way. I want to live with you and hold you, touch you, and be the only one that has the right too. Do you understand what I mean?" Sakuno's eyes held confusion and worry, but they also held the same feelings he felt in himself. "Do you feel the same?"

Sakuno nodded her head, letting it rest in the palm of his hand. "I felt that way for a long time, but you never seemed to care weather I dated someone or not, I felt you just wanted me as a friend, and I was honored that you wanted me as one. You don't seem to let many people get to know as well as I've been able too. And I didn't want to lose that." Ryoma leaned his head against hers, his hand moving from her face to the back of her neck, curling his fingers into her hair.

"Will you stay with me Sakuno? Will you be with me, forever?"

"I will." Sakuno said, bringing her head up as their lips met, kissing slowly, easily and with all love they could muster; forming a bond stronger than any sexual act could. They moved apart, smiling small smiles as the love they shared showed in their eyes for them to see. "I love you Ryoma."

"I love you too, Sakuno. And I want you to marry me." Sakuno moved back a little, forming a protest, but Ryoma cut her to the chase. "Not right now, but in the future, I'm going to take it slow like I should have, but I want you to know that in the end, that's my intention. I want to marry you, and spend the rest of my life making a new one for us to share. Will you share the rest of your life with me; will you marry me, Sakuno?" Ryoma watched as she exhaled, and then inhale. She smiled a beautiful smile that seemed to brighten her face and push away all the effects of her illness to the background.

"Yes. Yes I do." She giggled as Ryoma embraced her and laughed, feeling better and happier than she ever had in her life.

…


	4. Chapter 4:Epilogue

Chapter four: The Epilogue

Sakuno moved with Ryoma was he moved inside her, pushing them both to the limit of pleasure. Each stroke was heaven and hell, each penetration taking them to new heights, building the suspense, before a great firework exploded, sending them spiraling into a pool of languid contentment. Ryoma pulled Sakuno to him as he lay down on the bed next to her, pulling out of her at the same time. Sakuno's arms adjusted to this new position, her breathing still coming in small pants. When they could breathe normally, she leaned up to look at Ryoma. His eyes were closed, his face slick with sweat and red for excretion, but he was content and very satisfied.

"Sakuno, if you keep brushing your body against mine, I'm going to have to get inside of you. And if I don't catch my breath soon, your going to kill me." Laughter was in his voice and Sakuno shifted to were she was leaning over him, looking down into his face.

"I'm ready whenever you are." She said, bringing her leg over his hips, and intentionally rubbing his re-stiffening member. Ryoma opened his eyes, all serious now; Sakuno laughed and pecked him on the lips. "I love you."

"You're trying to kill me aren't you?" Sakuno smiled as she shook her head, she couldn't help it if she recovered quicker than he did.

"Ryoma, just one more time before you have to go, I won't get to see you till tomorrow afternoon. It's not proper for the groom to see his bride, before the wedding." She caressed her thumb nail against his chin, sending goose bumps down along his neck. She loved the reactions she received from him, just by doing the smallest of things.

Ryoma gave her no warning as he reared upwards, his hands holding her hips, as he penetrated her in one smooth glide. Sakuno breath caught on a gasp, the unexpected intrusion, making her back arch. It felt wonderful, and became even more so as Ryoma brought her to another organism, and another and another. She rode each wave, and tensed up as the next one came pulsing through her. This time, when they reached the peak, Sakuno's vision blackened and she felt she was exploding out of her skin.

When she next became aware of her surroundings, she was still lying on Ryoma, his slackened member still inside her and sending small ripples as he shook in silent laughter. "So who's taking more time to recover this time?" Sakuno swatted her palm against his chest, but couldn't move just yet.

"Now who's trying to kill whom?" Her statement made him laugh even harder, and she smiled with him. Oh she was so getting him back for that. "Just you wait for the honeymoon Ryoma, and let's see who laughs last." She moved her hips and Ryoma groined in pleasure. Yes let's just see.

The End.


End file.
